Dear Mr. President,
The White House -- the official residence of the President of the United States of America, a symbol of power, leadership, history, influence, and capacity, was built by black men and women, most of whom were slaves. As far as we have come as a people, no black man has ever occupied this historical building, or even thought it was possible for a black man to occupy the White House, until that monumental day on November 4, 2008, when you, Barack Hussein Obama, were elected the 44th President of the United States of America. From the southside of Chicago, to the desk of the oval office, you did something extraordinary: you called the White House your home.
The very next day, November 5, 2008, my husband rushed to the news stand to buy the official Washington Post paper, with the Obama family on the front cover. Then it was pure euphoria on January 20, 2009, when you stood in front of the Capital Building reciting the presidential oath. On one of the coldest days of the year, a new chapter was being written in the history books of the free world. Tears were coming down, a sense of accomplishment and pure happiness was overwhelming me, my hands were shaking, and I was literally at a loss for words -- I just stood and watched in amazement, frozen in time, as you, a black man, became President of the United States. People were rejoicing from every race, creed and culture. I felt a sense of unity. But as you know, the story doesn't end there; it happened all over again in 2013 when you were sworn in for a second term as the 44th President of the United States of America. That morning I reached over and hugged the white stranger next to me with tears coming down her face, because we just had this instant connection -- we knew we were in this together.
But why does your presidency mean so much to me? I'll tell you why. When I was a little girl, my mother used to make my sisters and I go to the local black history celebration on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day EVERY - SINGLE - YEAR. Man, I hated going to those ceremonies -- the speeches were always long, my mother always made us sit quietly, and we were always led in singing the same song every year with so many words, I could never remember them. It wasn't until about the fourth grade when I actually listened to the lyrics of that song we would always sing on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and it was in that moment that I finally understood it all. This wasn't just a "day off" to sleep in and eat cereal in our pajamas; this day was about the accomplishments and the journey of the people who came before us. This song, first written as a poem by James Weldon Johnson, was a proclamation of the civil rights movement, a confirmation of our acceptance to continue our journey for justice, and an affirmation that victory, one day would be won. The first portion of the song, which I now know was the Black National Anthem, says:
Lift every voice and sing
Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us,
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun
Let us march on till victory is won.
And on that cold, inauguration day in January, victory had finally been won. You became a symbol of triumph, a symbol of a people, a symbol of equality, a manifestation of the hope that anyone can become and accomplish anything. As a little girl growing up in rural, western Pennsylvania, I was always looking for a way to fit in. No one else looked like me, expcet for some of my sisters, of course. And one of my most vivid memories of grade school was the day one of my best friends said to me, "My mom said I can't play with you because you're mixed." I went home after school to tell my parents what happened, and the very next day, my dad marched up to the school to set them straight. Instances like this occurred every once in a blue moon, even after my mother became the first black president of the school board at my school district. Because of you, I am hopeful that my children will never hear words like these. I am hopeful that children of their generation will remember a black man as the President of the United States, and understand that we should never be judged by the color of our skin, but only by the content of our character.
As a youngster, I would visit the homes of some of my friends, and notice that their parents would have portraits of President Kennedy on the fireplace mantle. While I have always admired President Kennedy and recognized his contribution to the civil rights movement, I really never understood the significance of that. Well...not until YOU became our president! As the mother of two little black boys, I thank God for you every day, for being this incredible symbol my children are able to look up to and aspire to be. Mr. President #1, at six years old, and Mr. President #2, at only three years old, will only remember the President of the United States to be a black man -- they will know nothing else other than what they learn in their history classes. When my children were born, there was a black family living in the White House. This is almost unfathomable, but it brings me so much joy and peace, I just feel happiness in my soul. Although I spent most of my childhood just trying to fit in, the world forced me to see that I was different. I am so glad for the world's harsh reality because I learned to accept who I am, and embrace everything that makes me different. I am so glad that when I look up to see the President speaking on the television, I see someone who looks like me .
Your presidency over the past eight years, has unquestionably been an unprecedented victory. From slavery, to legal segregation and discrimination, to institutionalized racism and bigotry, you stand on the shoulders of those who came before us, and I am confident you have made them proud. Did your presidency provide all the answers to our problems? No. But that's okay. The fight has just begun, but we should let your presidency serve as a reminder that we need to be united as a people, united as a race, and united as a country. The easiest way to overcome someone, is to wage war against them when they are broken. Let us stand united in faith, in hope, in humility, and in strength. Just as you have told us before, "In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed." All of those things that tear us apart are real and still exist, but if we acknowledge them, and accept their existence, we can eventually overcome them.
So Mr. President, as you prepare to pass the torch, I very solemnly bid you farewell. I thank you for inspiring me, for inspiring my children, for inspiring people around the world, and for being a beacon of light so many of us were searching for amidst the darkness. While the road is still long ahead of us, I am filled with gratefulness for your audacious leadership and courageous spirit that has taught us yes we can, and yes we did. And just the other day, as I was feeling a bit melancholy about your departure, I pulled out that newspaper my husband rushed to buy the morning after the 2008 election. I showed it to Mr. President #1 and Mr. President #2, and said to them, "Always remember that with courage, faith and determination, this can be you some day."
If only those slaves who built the White House could see you now. If only those who fought the good fight could see how you shook up the world. If only my great-grandmother, who told me I would conquer the world one day, could have lived to see you become the first black President of the United States. One victory down, and several more to go. An entire race of people now have a President who resembles them to rest on their mantles. Let us march on, till victory is won. Thank you, Mr. President. Farewell.
Well, the new year is finally here! What exactly does that mean? That means it's time to set those new year's resolutions we can never keep, right?! Who's up for trying something a little different in 2017--like making some realistic resolutions so we don't set ourselves up for failure? Well just hold on a minute! I know what you're thinking! No...I am not reducing my opportunities or selling myself short; I'm just being practical about things for once. I know I'm not going to become the next Victoria's Secret model in 2017, or really give up chocolate, so I'm committed to setting some attainable goals in this new year that will really benefit me. Trust me...if you really put some thought into this process, your new goals will be so awesome, you'll be determined to reach them.
Here are my seven resolutions that I think will benefit all of us working mommas:
1. Wrap Up Your Work Day.
I know we don't live in France, but I try my best to not check email in the evening. Shed all the stress and worries of the day and use your evenings to focus on family. Besides, I'm sure the computer and smart phone had your attention all day long -- why not let your little ones have a turn? I know this isn't always possible, but I'm making a commitment to put a cap on the work day and spend some time actually raising my children.
2. JUST SAY NO!
Working mothers are the ones who always want to be the overachievers. Like seriously? Why? When you're so caught up in keeping your kids and rest of your life on the straight and narrow, you overdo everthing at work to prove you can handle it all. Well stop trying to prove "you can do it" to everyone. Sometimes you just have to accept that fact that you CANNOT DO IT ALL! And guess what? You're human -- there's nothing wrong with that. In 2016, I walked around overwhelmed everyday. Between trying to be the top mom [volunteering for every committee at my son's school], my actual job, sports, and the mom's club, all at once, it was only a matter of time before something fell by the wayside. Let this be your season to say, "no thank you," and let someone else have their time to shine.
3. Rise Up Before Everyone Else.
Have you ever heard the expression the Early Bird Gets the Worm? Well, if you haven't, you're really missing out. If you're the one who makes all of the magic happen, getting up before the rest of the house will allow you to get yourself together before you spend time getting everyone else ready. We all need a moment to "woosah" before the chaos happens, so do yourselves a favor, and try waking up 30 minutes before the rest of your crew. You can thank me later!
4. Remember You're a Wife Too!
With the hustle and bustle of getting the kiddos to school, basketball, swimming, and futsal; working; being the cleaning lady; and all of that extracurricular stuff we do, I often forget to make time for my husband too! That's right! I'm making my husband a promise to not give all of my time to Mr. President #1 and Mr. President #2, but to make sure I spend some of that "me" time with my awesome, fantastic, incredible, one-of-a-kind, super-duper, amazing husband! It's only a win-win, right?! Giving the kiddos an example of a healthy and loving marriage can only be beneficial for them in the long run. And, of course, hubby and I benefit too!
5. Practice a Little Patience.
We already talked about saying "no" to some things and avoiding that feeling of being constantly overwhelmed, but what about our patience? When I'm stressed and busy throughout the day, by the time supper comes around, I'm already at my wits' end most of the time, and I'm giving out empty threats left and right: "You'll never eat dinner again," or "You won't be playing basketball this season at all," [after I already paid the registration fee -- yea right], so I'm committed to practicing more patience. No one likes a grumpy momma!
6. Outsource, Outsource, Outsource!
My mentor used to say to me, "I get so many things accomplished because I delegate!" I didn't entirely gather what she meant by that until I realized I couldn't do everything on my own. Even if it's not work-related, sometimes you need an extra hand to help you get some tasks completed. Hire someone to help you do the housekeeping if it's in your budget, purchase some necessities online to save you time in the car, or have your super, fantastic husband do bath time or one of the bagillion tasks he can handle on his own to free up some of your time. When you get some of those tasks knocked off of the list, you can use some of that freed up space to focus on the people and things who really need your attention.
7. Have a Mom's Night Out (Or In).
I'm a huge advocate for making time for yourself, so in 2017, it's "me" time for Mom! Try to set aside at least one hour once a month to do something for you. Whether it's a girl's night out, date night, or just a potty break BY YOUR LONESOME (I know you know the struggle, lol), get some time in to relax, recharge and refresh! And no! This hour cannot include getting work done -- that just doesn't count, my friends! (smile)
Here we go, guys! Let's get those resolutions on paper, and let's get it done. If you make resolutions that will truly benefit you, trust me...you'll want to stick to them. No more making resolutions that are impossible to keep. It's a new year, and another opportunity to make life a little easier.